unexpected friendship

This blog is dedicated to a girl who has become a dear friend to me.

"Would anyone like to run a half marathon with me?" Little did I know that one facebook status update would create a friendship totally God-orchestrated. After many responses, only one girl really followed up and showed interest in laboring through months of training to achieve a goal that neither one of us envisioned was possible in November. We were already friends - kind of. More like 'I know your friends and you know mine so we are sort of friends too' type of thing.

Lacing up our sneakers to venture out together on our first run sparked conversation right away. I learned about her, she learned about me. The training continued. So naturally, our friendship grew.

But not exactly so 'naturally'. C.S. Lewis puts it this way:

"But in friendship, being free of all that, we think we have chosen our peers. In reality, a few years' difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another, posting to different regiments, the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting--any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret Master of the Ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,' can truly say to every group of Christian friends 'you have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.' The friendship is not a reward for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of the others. They are no greater than the beauties of a thousand other men, by friendship God opens our eyes to them. They are, like all beauties, derived from Him, and then, in a good Friendship, increased by Him through the Friendship itself, so that it is His instrument for creating as well as revealing."

I strongly believe that the reason Katie had a desire to run a half marathon with me was because Christ put that in her heart. His plan was so perfect. He has given me a friend to encourage and vent to. To laugh with, cry with (literally), pray with, and struggle up those hills with. So thank you, Katie, for being a great friend when I least expected you to come into my life. But most of all, thank you, Lord, for choosing us to become friends and grow in You.

waiting

God's timing is better than mine.

And He is really trying to teach me that. One of the fruits of the Spirit is patience, and there are so many situations in my life right now where I need to be patient before the Lord and wait on Him. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I have this "plan" of how things are going to work and when everything is going to happen, and if I see an opportunity for a solution I want to seize it right away. But with patience comes the fact that we are not in control of those "plans" and we're in the passenger seat, not the driver's seat.

Psalm 27.14

clarity

I feel as though my future is so unclear. In high school, I had dreams of being a pharmacist. A year later, I hurt my leg in gymnastics, where I quickly grew a passion for physical therapy, and soon that became my career goal. Going into college, I still had the idea of physical therapy, and therefore, chose biology as my major. Science and math have always been my stronger subjects, and I've already seen the Lord reassure me that I am in the right major.

Second semester of freshman year and first semester of sophomore year, thoughts of going on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ consumed my head. Then I thought of teaching third world countries about sustainability (clean water, prevention of AIDS, etc), or going to seminary, or STINT (short-term missions with CCC).

Yeah I know, I'm all over the map. And just this past week God has been putting physical therapy in my heart again. Or using my major for some medical career. So confusing, and so unclear. So many possibilities, and so many people asking what I want to do with my life. I don't know.

But at the same time, I do know. I want to live a life where I have a passion to know God above all things (John 17:3). I want a desire to see Christ celebrated where I live. I want my life to be an unmistakeable source of grace and hope to those around me. I want a willingness to share the gospel to all people - to go anywhere, at any time, at any cost, to do anything to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ. My purpose here is to bring glory to God, and if I set my eyes on Him, he will lay out the path he wants me to walk upon. I may not know what I'm going to do when I graduate, but I do know that I should not have any fear of what the future holds because I have a Savior who has every single detail mapped out for me. And if I wander off the path, His grace will lead me back.

So, here's to not knowing my future. Here's to complete clarity in Christ.

yes!

I'm finally done with exams! I think that if I ever look at Organic II Chemistry again, I will explode. Minus a little 5 1/2 hour sleep break, I was looking at chemistry for a total of 24 hours. DANG. That is ridiculous!

Now off to Christmas break :) Wisdom teeth removal tomorrow - can't wait to have chubby chipmunk cheeks. Pray everything goes well!

The Joy of Confessed Sin

This is how I feel at the moment:

Psalm 32

Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven,

whose sins are covered.

Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him

and in whose spirit is no deceit.

When I kept in silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.

For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;

my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.

Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.

I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord" - and you forgave the guilt of my sin.

Isn't that amazing? God forgives the guilt of our sin! Romans 6:6 says that for those who believe, we know that our old self was crucified with Jesus Christ so that our body of sin might be done away with - we are no longer slaves to sin. Hallelujah!

The joy and freedom you feel after confessing built up sin is unlike anything else. God already knows our sin even before we do it, but our pride gets in the way of confession. We are prideful, so we want to hide away from the fact that God loathes sin. But when we finally humble ourselves enough to confess our sin to our Lord and whoever we sinned against, God holds out His hand for us to reach out and grab. He always takes us back.

Praise the Lord.

the finish line.

13.1.

That number has been echoing in my head for the past two and a half weeks. For about a year now, I have always thought about running a half-marathon eventually in my life.

Last winter, as I was casually training with my brother, we both realized we were super busy, and it wasn't going to happen at that time. Then summer rolled around, allowing me to consider that maybe I would give this race a second-thought. I was doing good, running was becoming more enjoyable, and I started looking up schedules to follow.

Act 1, scene 1. The pain. It started slowly in my ankle, only hurting after a long run. A few days later, it got a little worse. Then the next day it worsened. It hurt to walk. Something was obviously wrong and had been building up for a while, but I was ignoring the problem, trying to push through the pain.

Act 1, scene 2. The doctor's office. Confirmed: stress fracture. Boot: 6 weeks. Running: nope. I was limited to swimming and the elipitical machine, which didn't really allow me to continue training.

Act 1, scene 3. Freedom. Finally, the boot came off, and the air cast came on. I was allowed to slowly work my way up to running again, and the doctor approved my half-marathon training for the future. A few strengthening exercises with the good old theraband, and I was good to go.

Intermission.

Act 2, scene 1. After rationalizing it for so long, I finally decided that I'm going to do it. I was all talk, no action. The best time to run is in the fall and winter, so why not train for a half-marathon now? Soon after thinking about it, I asked some of my friends if they wanted to do it with me, because running with someone and having a friend there to push and encourage you is worthwhile. Praise the Lord for Katie Nehm. Love her.

Act 2, scene 2. Here we are. Week two and a half of training (kind of). I know it's not going to be easy. But I also know that God gave Katie and I the same desire to run this half-marathon for a reason. Through this whole training process, Katie and I have developed a friendship completely centered around God and our new hobby: running at sketch times in not so good weather. I've realized that the way we have encouraged each other to finish the last mile strong and the way we have shared our enthusiasm about the race can easily be used for God's glory. We started praying before we run together, asking that the Lord would give us strength, thanking him for the opportunity to be physically active, but most importantly, asking that God would use this run to glorify Himself. Our spirit-filled conversation and just the way that we get to pour into each other has been a growing experience in and of itself.

Not to mention, we are turning into running fanatics. The idea of getting up at 6:00 am to run four miles before church now excites us. The thought of new running shoes and trying electrolyte gel packs for the first time makes our hearts beat fast. But this might be the greatest: the image of us running through the finish line after working so hard to conquer the big 13.1. It can be done, and it will be done.

i promise.

I promise that I will blog soon after my physics test.